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The Formula of Desire

Clinical Sexologist & Researcher

Hi, I'm Anna Elton

I help people understand what keeps desire alive—what draws us close, what distances us, and how to sustain connection through every phase of love.

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About Dr. Elton
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What keeps desire alive? playful? exciting? evolving?

Discover what pulls us close, pushes us apart, and what it takes to stay connected—throughout every phase of love.

Available: August 1, 2026

The Formula of Desire explores the science, psychology, and emotion behind connection—why attraction fades, how intimacy evolves, and what it really takes to stay close over time.

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Part science.

part story.

Part guide.

01 — Assessment

Discover Your Relational

Desire Score

Every relationship has a pulse.

The Relational Desire Score reveals where yours stands and how connection, intimacy, and emotional safety measure up against stress, distance, and unmet needs.

Take the Assessment →

Framework

The Wave of Desire

Why attraction changes over time.

Desire isn’t static—it’s a wave. It moves through phases shaped by biology, connection, life stress, and the stories we tell ourselves about our relationships. The question is, do you ride the wave or drift apart?

Learn More →

Anna Elton, PhD

Clinical Sexologist &
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

Anna holds a PhD in Clinical Sexology. With a passion for helping individuals and couples navigate intimacy, relationships, and desire, Anna is a national and international speaker who has presented at conferences and events across the United States and abroad.

Her work has been featured on PBS, ABC, NBC, and FOX, and she contributes regularly to Psychology Today through her blog Life, Love, Etc. Anna also hosts a bi-weekly relationship show on Jess TV, where she explores love, connection, and relational dynamics.

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“Curiosity is the most underrated aphrodisiac in long-term relationships.”

— ANNA ELTON, PHD

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Articles & Resources

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02 — FRAMEWORK

Wave of Desire

Every couple rides this wave.

Desire isn’t static—it’s a wave that moves through phases shaped by biology, connection, life stress, and the stories we tell ourselves. Every couple rides this wave. Some fall off. Some paddle back. But the ones who thrive learn to ride it together.

Do you ride it together?

THE FIVE PHASES

– Attraction: Electric spark and butterflies

– Commitment: Steady connection and shared life

– Stagnation: When intimacy slides down the list

– Rediscovery: The turning point back up

– Re-attraction: Falling for each other again

Stagnation isn’t failure—it’s a natural phase every couple encounters. The difference is whether you notice it and choose to ride the wave back up together.

Learn to navigate all five phases in Chapter 8, with exercises to help you move from stagnation to rediscovery.

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