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The Formula of Desire

RELATIONAL DESIRE SCORE™

The Relationship Assessment for Understanding Desire, Connection, and Intimacy.

Take the Relational Desire Score™ and get personalized insights to help you build a stronger more connected relationship. 

Take the Assessment

One small step. Powerful insights.

5 Minutes

Quick and easy to complete on any device.

25 Questions

Research-backed and grounded in data from 700+ couples

Personalized Insights

Understand your score and the next steps for your relationship

One Relationship. Two Perspectives.

You may be in the same relationship, but you may not experience it the same way.

Take the Relational Desire Score™ individually, then compare your results to uncover where your experiences align, and where they differ.

Take the Assessment

PARTNER A

Result

91

ACTIVE

18-POINT DIFFERENCE

The difference between your scores can reveal just as much as the scores themselves

PARTNER B

Result

73

PRESENT

Where You Align – See the strengths you both experience.

Where You Differ – Identify areas one partner may experience differently.

Where to Start – Use your results to guide your next conversation.

Understanding the Relational Desire Score™

2530 5075 100125
DormantStalled Present Active Passionate

25 – 29

Dormant

Relational desire is low or nonexistent. You may feel disconnected or like roommates.

Distance like this can be reversed.

30 – 49

Stalled

Desire is inconsistent or one-sided. You may feel stuck in routines.

Small shifts can lead to big change.

50 – 74

Present

Desire shows up sometimes. You have a foundation to build on.

Consistency and connection are key.

75 – 99

Active

Desire is alive and mutual. You’re connected and engaged.

Keep investing to stay strong.

100 – 125

Passionate

Desire is vibrant, spontaneous, and deep. You’re thriving together.

Celebrate and continue evolving.

Your Results Are Just the Beginning.

This score is a snapshot, not a diagnosis. The Formula of Desire takes each result further, turning it into exercises and conversations you can actually use with your partner.

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Ready to discover your

The Relational Desire Score™

Take the Assessment

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Discover Your

Relational Desire Score™

Take this research-backed assessment to understand where your relationship stands and get personalized recommendations for your connection.

Duration

5 minutes

Questions

25 questions

Results

Personalized insights
Discover Your Score ➜
Understanding Your Results

Available Now

Find Your

Erotic Currency

Explore the six currencies of desire and discover how you express it, experience it, and how it interacts with your partner’s desires.

Duration

8 minutes

Questions

30 questions

Results

Self-discovery
Find Your Currency ➜
Understanding Your Currency

Desire Tiers Explained

What Desire Feels Like Across Stages

Understanding Your Results

Tier 5

Passionate Desire (100 – 125)

You feel wanted, emotionally safe, and physically close. Intimacy is natural, mutual, and fulfilling.

Tier 4

Active Desire (75 – 99)

You feel connected, but stress or life demands may occasionally disrupt closeness. Repairs are effective, and desire is still strong.

Tier 3

Present Desire (50 – 74)

The connection exists but feels inconsistent. Intimacy requires effort and may be more impacted by outside stressors.

Tier 2

Stalled Desire (30 – 49)

You care about each other, but something is missing. Conversations tend to be practical, and physical affection may be routine or entirely absent.

Tier 1

Dormant Desire (25 – 29)

You feel alone, even when you’re together. Intimacy is minimal, and disconnection may be longstanding or difficult to overcome.

You Can Move Between Tiers Over Time

Exclusively for readers of The Formula of Desire

The Six Erotic Currencies

Understanding Your Currency

Seduction

The art of pursuit and play. Flirting, teasing, eye contact, and anticipation. Seduction thrives on the chase and builds erotic tension through playfulness.

Imagination

Mental eroticism and novelty. Fantasy, mental play, suggestive texts, and creative exploration. Imagination keeps intimacy fresh through curiosity and new experiences.

Receptivity

Openness to being wanted. Saying “yes” with warmth, surrender, or enthusiasm. Receptivity is about allowing yourself to receive desire and welcoming it fully.

Initiation

Taking erotic action. Making the first move, planning experiences, and leading with courage. Initiation builds momentum when shared between partners.

Validation

Erotic affirmation. Compliments, admiring glances, and affirming words like “You’re hot” or “I want you.” Validation makes partners feel seen and desired.

Mystery

Distance that creates intrigue. Time apart, solo exploration, and the unknown. Mystery invites curiosity and reawakens longing by maintaining some separateness.